Try; to do something in order to see if it works or will be successful. To make an effort or attempt to accomplish something.
These are definitions of the word try. I’m writing about trying this month because I am seeing an aversion and unwillingness towards trying. On occasion, clients come to me because of a misapprehension that hypnotherapists will do all the work for them, that the responsibility can be passed over to me and that I will wave my magic wand and instruct them simply to stop a behaviour they don’t like about themselves.
This happens often with smoking or weight loss clients. “Can you instruct my body to be repulsed by sugar?”
“Can you just tell me that I will feel nauseas at the sight of cigarettes?”
Negative suggestions can cause serious health problems and are not a long-term solution. Imagine feeling nauseas at the sight or smell of every cigarette. There would barely be a moment when you didn’t feel sick, and one night out at a restaurant or bar could be devastating.
Initially, there’s a sinking of the hope and a look of disappointment in these clients when we have a conversation about accountability. No matter what we achieve during the hypnotherapy session, you’re 100% responsible and accountable for your choices and actions in the outside world.
Hypnotherapy very effectively bypasses the conscious mind to get down to the underlying cause of the barrier. In reaching this place through hypnotherapy, we are able to gain great insight about the barrier, remove it and pave a much easier path for new behaviour. Your everyday life is a series of patterns and habits. If you’re making changes to your diet, drinking or cutting out cigarettes, you are going to be challenged by your environment and this is where trying comes in. If making big changes were easy we would all be doing it without anyone’s assistance.
It’s not though. It can create discomfort, distress, vulnerability and intense emotions. These are the very things you have been avoiding and temporarily soothing with cigarettes, food, alcohol, drugs, prescriptions, gambling and shopping etc. Your willingness to feel a little discomfort as you make changes to your habits and behaviour will determine the process. Burying your head in the sand about discomfort not only is a futile attempt to avoid it, but also sends a message that you cannot cope. The very fact is you can.
An opening of the arms is an act of willingness. It says “I’m going to try this. I’ll acknowledge the times when it’s less than comfortable and ride through them. I’ll be gentle and kind to myself and encourage myself as I would another. It’s a different attitude than setting high expectations and beating yourself up.
The quote I’ve attached is a condensed version of this blog. When a client half-heartedly participates in one of my programs, I ask them on completion “What percentage did you put into the program?” It comes as no surprise that when they say 60%, and I ask them “What percentage did you get out of the program?” the answer is also 60%. It’s never higher. It’s simple mathematics.
I want you to achieve the very best for yourself. My role is to encourage, support and guide you in a way that uniquely suits you. Part of this is to ask you to try and also be accountable for your actions. Once you realise that you are the only person who can live your life, accountability becomes not only necessary, but also your friend.